3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
