you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
