so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
