We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
