well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
