I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I need water and some morals
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
