Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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