it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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