if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
