I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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