I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
operation have a gay friend backfired
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
