At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
