The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
