he shaved USA in his pubs
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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