im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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