I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
