Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
