A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
