At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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