he puts the penis in happiness.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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