last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize