Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
