I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
