yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
