Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
