Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
