How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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