East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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