You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
