the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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