i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
