Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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