Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
