I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
