I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
