He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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