hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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