You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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