his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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