this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
