And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I need to calm my uterus...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
