My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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