His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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