Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
