About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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