I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize