It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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