Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
