So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
