i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
