Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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