I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish i was in the wii world.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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