oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
