Cold hands, warm shart.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish I only lived at night.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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