There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
