I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
