Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
