Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
