Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
