They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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