I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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