just tell him i said nine months
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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