i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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