I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
