Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
