Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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